I Never Found the River

Sunrise found me out
Languishing on the river bank
Where the sound of peacocks
And self-important finches
Dipped and darted over
My ears

Have you ever watched
The sunrise
Over the river
Rushing by
Tasting your feet
Bringing immortality
To bear on the present
Moment

I meant to go down
To the riverbank I knew
Expecting to find
Molten gold
Dancing to and fro
On the tips of sapphire ripples
Splashes of diamonds
Waiting for me
To take extravagance
On my tongue

But I was halted
Breathless in my tracks
By the sight of your
Fresh body
Wet and naked
Though clothed in the
Eternal sky

I could not speak
To the busy finches
And their arrogant kin
Weaving their industry
Like a tapestry of lapis
And gold about you

Muscles firm and tight
Loins slightly apart
Rich in the treasure of manhood
For my prying eyes
A peacock soaked in the envious sky
Whose azure beauty
By evening fades
Behind the dusky groves

Mangoes weighing down
A heavy branch
Lusty and sweet
I dream of plucking them
With my mouth
As I watch you
Dip and rise, dip and rise

Your skin alive
With millions of diamonds
My eyes devour you
Dark and becoming
The sun adores every curve
And sends the wind
Back where it came from

Somewhere in the distance
A sitar strikes
A haunting melody
While the water at your feet
Pays homage to an earthly beauty

My tongue between my teeth
Hungers for those mangoes
A branch to grasp
From a fertile tree
Beneath him
I could compose a melody
To carry my desire
Down through the ages

Such lofty sentiments
Fade as the sky fades
As the shadow of timeless mountains
Flickers over the earth
All gone so fast
But what remains?

I hold on
To this moment
Longing to savor the taste
Of mangoes
With the sunset
To wet my skin
With the libations
Of your naked youth

Invigorated
Never chaste
My thoughts run away
With that river
Those ambitious little birds
Those million diamonds
Shattering over your torso

How many hours
Did I give away
Waiting breathless
In the shadows
Thinking all the while
Of everything I could take
With my starving fingers

My lips never coaxed
The nectar
From a heavy mango
My toes never kissed
The eternal water
And I never found the river

You Called the Light Out of Me

You called the Light
Out of me
When by night
I passed in silence
The forlorn sentinels
Of cypress trees
Standing as guardians
Of a past
Still painfully present

I needed a voice
To guide me
Through the snags
Of branches, thorns
Holes in my heart

I clutched your words
Savored the flavor
Of unspoken desires
Watching the flicker
Of light dancing
In your eyes

Can the heart
Live again
Once buried and gagged
By the past?
To be young again
Fresh
Wrapped in silk
Within the cocoon
Of your body
The fragrance of the future
Heady between your legs

I waded through torrents
Falling from the sky
To stand beside you
In the tender moonlight
Without faltering
You took my shaking hand
To your lips
The sweetness on my skin
Turning over, again and again
Like sweetmeats
On my skin

I drank deeply
Past and future dissolve
Without leaving
Their reminiscences
And I fall into you
On bended knee
Creating a new religion
In a moment without a priest
Without a god or a prophet
To pontificate

What need have we
For religion
When the cathedral of cypress trees
Parts before our naked feet
The alabaster moon
Crashing through the gnarled branches
Finer than a thousand sparks
Of stained glass

You have my incense
On you
My baptism in you
My holy blessing
Surging with kisses and kisses
Over your olive skin

I put my sandals back on my feet
Grains of sand prick my toes
But I go naked after
To follow the moon's dance
Between the cypress
To hear a flute's seduction
Caress my hungry ears

Past and future
Have never touched me
When I carry your seed
Inside me
Having traversed
Beyond the veil
Held fast to the wind
By your breath
In my mouth

I take your heart beat
With me
As fluttering wings
Alight the tree tops
Swaying silently above

I never made a sound
In your arms
But the darkness
Gave way to the wedding candle
Dancing with ardor
Through my veils
This blood that now revives you
This bond tied tightly
Between us

You called the Light
Out of me
And I profess my completeness
Like a penitent
Walking silently in prayer
Through the swaying ages
Of cypress sentinels

Your breath in me
Still haunts my heart
Like a prayer
And my past
With you
Is ever painfully present

It Is Not For You

Clandestine patterns
Gathering behind my eyes
Summoned on the strings
Of my heart
Open, wide open
Wearing these patterns
Alive on my sleeve
But it is not for you

Tasting the clouds
Dancing across a frightened sky
Will Spring ever come
Heady on Winter's heels
My tongue finds the clouds
Sweet with rain
Dashing across
An empty looking glass
Filling my eyes
With the light of miracles
But it is not for you

Alone, behind closed doors
I open up
My heart's secured door
Laying naked
The wonders secreted there
Long ago
Specters reveal
Their secret histories
Past lives lived
Without thought for what comes
Eternally ever after

This knowledge jars me
Awakens my mind
When I am alone
But it is not for you

I caught the hot rain
On my tongue
Standing alone
In Spring's welcome beginning
You trailed behind
Each of those delicious drops
Falling

I wondered if we would ever meet again
In some future life
When the specters of your past
Could be peacefully laid to rest
But it is not for you

I became a companion
Of the sun
Shutting slowly Winter's door
Hearing the lock turn, closing
Hearing my heart turn, hardening
It has all been sealed tight
So that my mind can move
Forward
Into the light of a future
Without a past
But it is not for you

I find my bed
Warm at night
Even after the indomitable shadow
Of you
Has fallen
How quickly a looked door
Can be sprung open
By the right hand

A light creeping in
Without warning
My mind startled
Into awareness
Of a brief reckoning
But it is not for you

If I touch myself
Become awake
Between my thighs
Mt manhood becoming my master
I will unlock a door
Once unforgivingly latched
To give myself
A love not hindered
Uncomplicated
Or safely demure

I unleash
The dancing specters there
To find their homes
Again in the forgiving light
Where you have foolishly
Feared to tread

Do not worry
You are not forgotten
There is a hole in my heart
And much more flows out
Than ever flows in
But it is not for you

Khamsin/ Lost In the Afterlife

I rise yet again
From the trappings holding me
From the coffin of the sky
My womb in the hallowed earth
Covering me with the pale light
Of the Ancients, the stars
Of the moon, the diadem
Of the heavenly vault
I rise
Having fallen, I rise
And where were you?

Left alone
In the dry soil
What bed would I need
What comfort could the ground give
With flowers now wilted
Left for dead
I was, I am
Coming into myself again
Watched over by the tender sky
My mother, conceiving again
Giving birth to me, again
As a star, an Ancestor
A descendant of the Milky Way
And who were you?

Hearing the early morning music
A caravan treading
On the shifting sands
Lonely yet crowded
Time watched them slip by
As it all slips by
These ephemeral things
My heart desired to take
And where were we?

We held hands in a moment
Already lost to us
To the temporary dunes
Playthings of the khamsin-winds
Angry, like the Gods
Giving pleasure, like the Gods
But for a fragile time
Gone again, but left
To the treasury of my memory
And where are you now?

Pale, fading
As the wash of stars
Paints the dunes
With timid color
I see the spirit of you
Appearing for the spirit of me
Only to ourselves
Are we a reality
Immortal like the Gods
Standing against time
As the living go on their way
Without us

We cannot consummate
Our vows
Nor halt the shifting dunes
From their destiny
In the tempestuous wind
The khamsin speaks to me
Like the thunder
Of my heart
Beating hard
Breathing the empty air
Over the desert
Where life is ephemeral
As twilight
And where were we then?

Free, my mind
From all of their constraints
Inhibited are they
From the fullness of my love
Clinging only to one
Their eyes could never behold
My many and generous reflections
For I have a manifold heart

One in the earth
One in the heavens
One for the sand between your toes
One for the burning plains
Where no thing grows
For want of sacred water
One for the sun, unforgiving
One for the moon, my lover in the shadows
One for every star, woven amongst the Imperishables
One for the flesh, longing
One for the voice, singing a song
For those who have gone before us
One for your thighs, open
Like sunbeams shattering over the sands
One for the Gods, all living in my veins
And how many do you have now?

I rise again
Forgetting the fall
Tasting freedom
Which is limitless experience
In the heart
Unencumbered by ephemeral conditions
These are the trappings that bind us
Here on earth
But these I have transcended
And shown the many colors
That shine from the mirror
Of my heart

Conscience, you are not bound
To this earth
Not bound to one
But married to many
Your freedom comes
After you have let go
Relinquishing the need to possess

Having fallen in you
I rise
My earth, my heaven
Reunited with them all
I have found at long last
The place where you are

One of Your Beautiful Things

I could not ask
For tenderness
But for your hard hand
Taking possession
Of my weak body
How quickly I became yours
And my will
Deserted me
For the call of your bedsheets

Rumpled, strewn about a sunlit room
Your shirts
Your pants
The sweat in your underwear
I fell hard
For all you had
Hard
Is what I asked for
And my heart got what it deserved

Your scent
A spring morning
Beneath a fresh powder blue sky
I held you so fast
Between my legs
Your stubble cutting into
My soft pink cheek
I was oblivious
To the afternoon
Simply to become
One of your discarded garments

How foolish
In my youth
To think of becoming
One of your glorious adornments
Something to scatter
Across your floor
Like all your other beauties

Now gone
The afternoon in your light
Quickly rushing away
From the spring day
In your sweaty sheets
When fast we rose together
Descended to the depths
And I became
One of your beautiful things