What if you were born with a broken heart? What would you do with it? Try piecing it back together? Searching for someone else to complete it? Ask for a god to take it all away? My journey as a poet and philosopher is not to try and heal or repair the cracks in my heart, but to entice the cracks to give up their secrets. My name is Ptahmassu Nofra-Uaa, and I invite you in to fill up on all the things gushing out from the doorway to my heart.
WARNING
WARNING: This blog is intended for mature readers only. It's contents include adult themes such as sexuality, homosexuality, rape and violence, which may be inappropriate or offensive for some viewers.
Friday, April 10, 2015
It Is Not For You
Clandestine patterns
Gathering behind my eyes
Summoned on the strings
Of my heart
Open, wide open
Wearing these patterns
Alive on my sleeve
But it is not for you
Tasting the clouds
Dancing across a frightened sky
Will Spring ever come
Heady on Winter's heels
My tongue finds the clouds
Sweet with rain
Dashing across
An empty looking glass
Filling my eyes
With the light of miracles
But it is not for you
Alone, behind closed doors
I open up
My heart's secured door
Laying naked
The wonders secreted there
Long ago
Specters reveal
Their secret histories
Past lives lived
Without thought for what comes
Eternally ever after
This knowledge jars me
Awakens my mind
When I am alone
But it is not for you
I caught the hot rain
On my tongue
Standing alone
In Spring's welcome beginning
You trailed behind
Each of those delicious drops
Falling
I wondered if we would ever meet again
In some future life
When the specters of your past
Could be peacefully laid to rest
But it is not for you
I became a companion
Of the sun
Shutting slowly Winter's door
Hearing the lock turn, closing
Hearing my heart turn, hardening
It has all been sealed tight
So that my mind can move
Forward
Into the light of a future
Without a past
But it is not for you
I find my bed
Warm at night
Even after the indomitable shadow
Of you
Has fallen
How quickly a looked door
Can be sprung open
By the right hand
A light creeping in
Without warning
My mind startled
Into awareness
Of a brief reckoning
But it is not for you
If I touch myself
Become awake
Between my thighs
Mt manhood becoming my master
I will unlock a door
Once unforgivingly latched
To give myself
A love not hindered
Uncomplicated
Or safely demure
I unleash
The dancing specters there
To find their homes
Again in the forgiving light
Where you have foolishly
Feared to tread
Do not worry
You are not forgotten
There is a hole in my heart
And much more flows out
Than ever flows in
But it is not for you
Labels:
awareness,
desert,
fear,
gay love,
homoerotic,
loss,
love,
nature,
poem,
poetry,
Ptahmassu Nofra-Uaa,
romance,
secrets,
spirituality
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